As the saying goes, no man is an island. Whether you are in a relationship with a partner, have family or friends constantly checking in on you, or just have a boss to deal with, all of these people come with relationships. As women, we tend to be very focused on our relationships, but that can sometimes be to our detriment.
In order to have a healthy relationship, we need to set boundaries with the people we interact with. That includes our partners and our kids, not just our more distant relationships. Healthy relationships have boundaries that we pick out ourselves, such as deciding who we will go out with or how many activities we will drive our kids to. If you haven’t really set boundaries, chances are you are overworked and stressed by your relationships.
Balance between being a care taker of others vs being a care taker of myself
When was the last time you set aside shuttling your kids all over the place, cleaning the house, doing the shopping, or trying to impress your boss in order to take care of yourself? Chances are, you never have. It’s normal to want to please others, and to put your own needs on the back burner while you strive to meet other people’s needs.
While you shouldn’t just stop meeting the needs of others, there does need to be a balance. It’s okay to have the occasional girl’s night out, or to take a mental health day when you need it. If anything, these should be regular parts of a balanced life.
Being a helper vs being a crutch
When someone relies on you to help them in times of need, it’s a beautiful part of your relationship. When that extra help transforms into being their crutch however, it can make you miserable and give you little to nothing in return.
Not only is being a crutch bad for you, it’s bad for the other person too. A child that enters adult life without a clue on how to do their own laundry or operate a dishwasher, isn’t a child well prepared for adult life.
Kids aren’t the only ones who can use you for crutches. The boyfriend who lives off of your paycheck with no intention of getting a job, or the friend who uses you as a shield in public gatherings.
Boundaries in finances
Some of the worst relationship issues can come out of finances. No matter how close you are with your friends, when they only show up to borrow $50, they become less endearing. If you and your partner have different views on finances, letting them push you around can also put a strain on the relationship.
Relationships can be difficult to balance. It’s easy to fall into the habit of doing what everyone else wants in order to please them. Being in a relationship isn’t just about pleasing others though, it’s all about balance. Give yourself the boundaries you need in order to have a successful and healthy relationship with others. It will only help you and your loved ones grow.
“When you own your own breath, nobody can steal your peace”.
Cheers! Monique Stephanie